Thanks for that Brooke. I have a theory that the celubutards (an elite force of famous fucktards) are trying to take over the world. This morning whilst watching Sky New I was interupted by a big red "breaking news" sign flashing all over the screen. Another terrorist bombing? Another tsunami? Another government official caught soliciting oral sex in a parking lot? No, the breaking news was that the brother of Gordon Ramsey (the potty mouthed celebrity chef) had been arrested in Indonesia for possesion of drugs. Seriously?
Paris Hilton paved the way when she appeared on Larry King after her release from the pokey and now even the brothers of celebrity chefs get more airtime than Islamic militants blowing up people and eachother. So what's really going on in the heads of the celebutards? Thanks to the help of Miss Teen South Carolina, we have the answer :
Apparently this beauty pageant stupidity goes way back and Lauren Caitlin Upton obviously learned her stuff from Miss Alabama who, when asked "If you could live forever, would you and why?" at the 1994 Miss USA pageant, replied,
"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we
cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Wow. So profound. Watch out people. Forget about Chinese World Domination (Pty. Ltd), start stocking up on The Economist and Various Great Pholosphical Works By Various Great Philosophers so that you can make the celebutards melt by spouting something intellectual when they come knocking on your door with reruns of The Simple Life.
But alas, there are some celebutards who consider themselves humanitarians and a special place in our hearts must be made for them:
"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
Start reading books people, start reading books...
